The Red Scare: Cheerwine

I see Cheerwine at all the North Carolina grocery stores, but never buy it because I’m too busy buying 2-liter bottles of Diet Harris Teeter. That changed the day I had to make a presentation at a North Carolina high school. From the get-go, it looked like a soda fiasco – the vending machines were scheduled to not operate until 1 p.m., leading me to wonder how kids didn’t fail every class before lunch time (then again, maybe that’s why they brought us there in the first place).

Anyway, the vending machine had apparently been stocked by some elitist hipster douchebag, the type who despises anything enjoyed by more than five people. My options were Cheerwine, RC, or some off-brand chocolate drink. I decided to help out the local soda company and buy the Cheerwine.

I really enjoyed Cheerwine – it’s kinda like a less-syrupy Cherry Coke. I sipped on it through lunch and the afternoon, and the caffeine and sugar helped me fight through what could have been a presentation-killing carb coma.

The only problem is I worried that my mouth had turned bright red. I tried to check in the bathroom mirror, but this particular high school used polished sheets of metal instead of glass. Obviously they didn’t want to upset the vampire portion of the student body who had no reflection, so they put up mirrors where you could only see a hazy outline of yourself. For all I know my mouth was as red as a circus clown’s – bad when you’re giving a presentation. The people in the room didn’t look at me with any more confusion than the average person, so I was probably okay.

The Verdict

Cheerwine gets a 7 out of 10. I wouldn’t seek it out, but it’s a nice change of pace, or the lesser of several evils if I ever run into a non-Coke or Pepsi vending machine again.

Second opinion via Greensboring

Photo Credit: Silenceofnight on flickr

Carabao: Good for what ails you

I’ve never been a big consumer of energy drinks. Regular ol’ pop has enough caffeine for me, thanks. But how could I say no to a bottle of Carabao? I mean, it’s got a freaking skull on the label. Plus, there’s a red bird, possibly a phoenix, emblazoned on the skull’s forehead. The obvious subtext here is that Carabao will give you enough energy to master death itself. How could I resist?

The Experience

I cracked open the bottle and drank the entire thing before I got to work. It was only a 5.7 ounces, plus the brown glass bottle made it look like something I shouldn’t be drinking on the job. Carabao looks like cough syrup. It tastes like cough syrup. And after I drank it, my nose stopped running. I actually had to check out the ingredients to see if it contained NyQuil. I didn’t find anything from Vicks, but did stumble on something called Nicotinamide, which is used in various medicines. It also sounds suspiciously like nicotine. Perhaps that’s why the label says children and breastfeeding mothers should steer clear of Carabao.

The Verdict

Carabao tastes pretty good, if your favorite beverage manufacturer is Vicks. As far as the energy content is concerned, give this to corpse and it’ll have the strength to dig its way out of its grave. It’s not quite awesome enough that I’ll become a regular energy drink drinker, but it didn’t turn me off, either. So if you’re looking for a morning jolt and don’t much care about taste, or you just want to start a zombie apocalypse, Carabao is probably the drink for you. 7 out of 10

Second opinion via Screaming Energy.